Posts Tagged ‘High school’

She’ll be leaving in a few months

English: J.B. Alexander High School 2009 Gradu...

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Our second child, our first daughter, will be graduating from high school in late May.  She received an acceptance letter today from a college.  She has already been accepted at another school, just waiting to see what the financial aid package will be.  If it is a workable package for her and our budget, than she should be able to attend the college who accepted her first.  We still have Senior pictures to take, and a prom dress to order, and then, before we know it, her 18th birthday will be upon us in April.  Her last birthday to celebrate at home with our family for a while.  We have already sent our firstborn, a son, out into the world and he is flying well.  However, it is still not going to be any easier saying good-bye to our daughter when she heads to college in August.

I am excited for our daughter, and proud of her, too.  She has earned two scholarships towards college costs, has earned good grades, and accepted a move to a new community her Senior year of high school with grace and wisdom.  She has made friends at the new school with ease, yet she has always had that gift.  I remember her first trip to Disney World how she made friends with 2 sisters at the hotel pool who were visiting Disney World from England.  How those three girls played at the pool like old friends, yet I knew she’d probably never see those girls again once we drove north and they jetted  across the pond.  My feeling is definitely bittersweet as I watch our daughter grow into a confident young woman.  I am glad for her career choice, elementary education, which was my college major and career before motherhood called me away.  She is a leader, something she gets from her Dad, and as much as she might protest, she is more like him in personality than me.  I remember a project she had to work on in her history class when she was a sophomore.  The class had to each take on a CEO role, make up a business, what it made, and make business decisions in order to run it successfully.  Our daughter took it to heart, as her Dad would have, that the business’s main objective would be to make a profit, expand, and make more product, etc.  In order to do so, she decided to limit how many workers she could afford to pay and still make enough product and profit.  Her teacher was surprised because in all of his years of teaching this project, our daughter was the first student to focus on the product and profit, not keeping workers happy.  Yes, sounds like a chip off the old block, I thought, when she told us about her teacher’s reaction.  She did get an A on the project.

When I became a mother, it was a new turn in my life that I was wanting to do, and I relished the new role.  I have often said that in being a full-time mom, I would have a hard time going back into the work force since I am used to calling the shots at home and setting up our day.  As I cradled a newborn in my arms, feeling ever so blessed to do so, the realization that one day this child would be all grown up and on his or her own seemed so far away, that I wouldn’t have to dwell on that  for years and years.  As my doctor who delivered our firstborn told me, “You thought those 9 months were an adventure?  Now, the real adventure starts, for the next 18 years!”  Those 18 years do fly by incredibly fast.  Too fast.  I want to reach out and stop it all for a bit, to let moments linger, but I know I can’t.  I can just try to enjoy these last few months where she’ll still be with us, with our family.  I can enjoy her moment in the sun on graduation day, and at the party we’ll host for her.  Through the tears I know I’ll be shedding when we say good-bye at her dorm room, I’ll just keep her in my prayers as I do for all of my children, and trust that she’ll fly well.

“What are Y’all Gonna Do for Me?”

A typical gathering, with boys in tuxedos, and...
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We moved this past summer to a new community in Missouri,  almost 2 hours away from our past hometown where we had lived for 19 years.  Our second child, has been invited back for good friends’ birthday parties, sleepovers during Christmas break, and other sundry events.  During her last visit  a week ago, one of her friend’s was regaling their group with a  story that had happened at a recent high school assembly.  The school official was informing the student body about new rules for the upcoming Junior -Senior Prom, rules that hadn’t been used before, at this high school.  The students were informed that Seniors who had a 94% attendance rate would be allowed to attend the prom for free, that purchasing a ticket would be waived.  As this new rule sunk in to the students’ brains, one girl stood up and asked a question of the school official.  She informed the official and student body that since she had been out of school for 4 months because she had had a baby, …”What Y’All Gonna Do for Me?” was her concern and question.  The school official didn’t know how to answer this,  himhawed around and finally told her she would need to ask her guidance counselor about it.

My daughter and her friends reacted with laughter and states of shock and/or surprise at the nerve of this girl.   I have been  mulling this anecdote over in my mind and decided to put myself in the school official’s shoes and here is the answer that I would have  given  this girl.  First of all young woman, you are now a mother, not just a teen who wants to go to her Prom.  For whatever reasons, you decided to have sex with a male during the second semester of your Junior year.  The result is that now you have a child to care for, raise, love, and teach responsibility to.  Your first concern should be that of your child, not if you have to pay money to go to a school dance.  If you were my daughter, I would say that you have to stay home that night and be a mom to your child.  If you can be responsible and find a decent baby sitter, than perhaps you can go to the prom, but who will pay for the dress? You will also have to pay the baby sitter, pay for shoes, accessories, possibly pay for your meal afterwards, and then be home by 11, as most baby sitters don’t want to stay at someone’s house all night watching a child.   Paying for the ticket will also be your responsibility.  Being absent for 4 months to have your baby and then miss school due to postpartum recovery doesn’t add up to a 94% attendance rate, so no free ticket for you!

This student’s attitude really bothers me.  How many generations of Americans  have this same attitude, that if I mess up, someone still owes me something.  Who cares if I have consequences to face, chances are I’ll do my best to ignore them and demand someone give me something for the troubles that I’ve brought down upon myself.  No shame, no responsibility, this attitude  only promises a society with an ever downward spiral to moral ambiguity and anarchy.  God help this innocent child this selfish teen is raising so he or she won’t turn out like this mother!